Are you quick to deny assistance?

VETTING HELP - when you say no to offers of help

I recently read a fantastic article on a smaller publication about insurance, moms, and reviewing what they bring to the table. It was really well-written. I couldn’t find the author on LinkedIn (hmm…it’s 2017…c’mon…) so I emailed this person to ask if I shared the article where would they like for me to direct my followers to go? The response was crazy, “Nope.”

Wait, what?

This person took zero time to vet my offer. The gutĀ response was simply “nope” and shut me down. I have 5,000 connections on LinkedIn, almost 7,000 followers on Twitter, and not that I’m a big deal, but I get people to pay attention. But “nope”. Hmm.

Why are we so quick to discount assistance?

Then it made me wonder, “Are people really that skeptical about the offer of help?” My email to the advisor was clear on where I got the article, why I liked it, and why I wanted to share it, who I was and what I do, and even reiterated I would be happy to direct the reader to wherever the advisor wanted them to go. I didn’t withhold any information to cause any sketchy attitude. (And trust me, this is different than those offers from overseas of the million dollars you left next to the bed at the hotel that they want to send back to you…yeesh…)

So why the attitude?

It comes down to proper vetting. Had this person taken a moment to realize they were being offered an opportunity to amplify their expertise, then maybe that “nope” would have been a “yep”. What about looking at my credentials and thinking, “Maybe she could help me learn how to use this online stuff?” Zero time was spent on vetting the offer; an opportunity was lost.

Be a person of action – Next time someone offers to help you, take the time to consider the different angles and options attached to the assistance. Maybe this person knows someone you don’t and it would help you? What about how well-connected this person might be to put you in front of others? Could you be returning help to this person, even if they didn’t ask? “No” can be a double-edged response; give it thought before just throw it out there.



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